儿子要参加希望英语市决赛，请高手爸妈帮忙改改稿子
儿子7岁，小二。亲子英语1年，晋级市决赛。妈妈写的稿，请高手爸妈帮忙改改。小女子在此不甚感激。Hello,everyone. I am Marui. I am so happy to be here.My subject isNocturnal Animals Iam a bat. Can you hang upside-down? I CAN. I rest in the daytime. I useecholocation to find food at night. My favorite food is mosqitoes. I look likea bird, but in fact I am a mammal because I have teeth but no feathers. I growinside my mother before I was born. I drink milk from my mother when I was ababy,
Iam a lovely firefly. I like to live in warm damp places. I spend my dayssleeping in bushes near the water. At night I fly around looking for food. Doyou like my flickering light? That’s the way I talk with my family and warnaway my predators. Someother animals such as desert hamsters, scorpions, coyotoes and red-eyed treefrogs all rest in the daytime and use the night for finding food and huntingprey. They are called Nocturnal animals.That’s all .Thank you.
亲子英语1年就可以进军市决赛了呀，妈妈和孩子都挺牛的！ 不会，帮顶
jinglingyy 发表于 2014-6-6 08:35 static/image/common/back.gif
亲子英语1年就可以进军市决赛了呀，妈妈和孩子都挺牛的！
还要继续努力，谢谢
yaer2002cn 发表于 2014-6-6 08:38 static/image/common/back.gif
不会，帮顶
谢谢好人，
不知怎么的，word粘贴过来变成了这样。
不会，帮顶。 帮顶, 希望高手出现. 太牛了，妈妈和孩子都太给力了 我也帮顶吧:loveliness: 我改了一下 试试发一下哈
Hello, everyone. My name Ma Rui. I am very happy to be here and today my subject is Nocturnal Animals.
Now, I am a bat. Can you hang upside-down? No? But I CAN. I rest in the daytime. I use the echo location to find food at night. My favorite food is mosquito. I look like a bird, but in fact I am a mammal because I have teeth but no feathers. I grow inside my mother before I was born. I drink milk from my mother when I was a baby,
Now, I am a lovely firefly. I like to live in warm damp places. I spend my days sleeping in bushes near the water. At night I fly around looking for food. Do you like my flickering light? That’s the way I talk with my family and warn away my predators.
At the same time, some other animals such as desert hamsters, scorpions, coyotes and red-eyed tree frogs all rest in the daytime and use the night for finding food and hunting prey. They are also called Nocturnal animals.
That’s all about my speech .Thank you.
哈哈，我基本看懂了。牛妈和牛娃。顶顶~ 有些单词我都不认识，汗~~
use the night for finding food and hunting prey 改成 find food and hunt prey at night会不会好些？ 恩，是的，上面妈妈的意见很好！ 卓卓的妈妈 发表于 2014-6-6 09:08 static/image/common/back.gif
Hello, everyone. My name Ma Rui. I am very happy to be here and today my subject is Nocturnal Animal ...
真的很感谢
本帖最后由 ksly001 于 2014-6-6 19:07 编辑
Hello, everyone. I’m Marui. I am so happy to be here. Today I want to talk something about Nocturnal Animals. A nocturnal animal is an animal that is awake or active at night.
First, I am a bat. Can you hang upside-down? Bet you can’t. But I CAN. I rest in the daytime. I use echolocation to find food at night, that means，I have super sonic hearing or I use sound waves to find food. My favorite food is mosquitoes. All though I do look like a bird, actually I am a mammal because I have teeth and no feathers. I grew inside my mother before I was born. I drank milk from my mother when I was a little baby.
Now, I am a lovely firefly. I like to live in warm damp places. I spend my days sleeping in bushes near the water. At night I fly around looking for food. Do you like my flickering light? That’s the way I talk with my family and warn away my predators.
Now, I am an owl. I have big eyes which help me see better in the dark. There are also some other animals such as desert hamsters, scorpions, coyotes and red-eyed tree frogs which all live in the same way.They are also nocturnal animals.
In general，nocturnal animals are active at night. During the day, they sleep or keep away from the sun. It is not until the sun goes down, that these animals begin to look for water and to hunt for food. Different animals have different ways to get food in the dark. I think they are very smart. What do you think?
That’s all .Thank you.
本帖最后由 hmily_pine 于 2014-6-6 15:57 编辑
外研社的新概念英语风采大赛吗？
我儿子要参加复赛。我让他自己写了演讲稿。比楼主的简单。
我不太赞成妈妈自己写。
妈妈的文章内容即使是汉语都已经超出了平常儿童水平。至少超过了我孩子母语的认知和表达能力。
亲子英语一年，要演讲这段文章，有点为难孩子了。尽量用简单的词。
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神奇校车有一集《22 GOING BATTY》专门讲蝙蝠的。可以直接拿里面的表达来用。 帮顶，支持一下 ksly001 发表于 2014-6-6 14:23 static/image/common/back.gif
Hello, everyone. I’m Marui. I am so happy to be here. Today I want to talk something about Nocturna ...
这个写得非常好，时间要控制在1分半钟，可能我还得稍稍精简一点点。
比我写的好太多了，真的非常感谢
hmily_pine 发表于 2014-6-6 15:00 static/image/common/back.gif
外研社的新概念英语风采大赛吗？
我儿子要参加复赛。我让他自己写了演讲稿。比楼主的简单。
我不太赞成妈 ...
是啊，孩子自己写好。小子仅仅听力比较好，阅读还算过得去。稿子的一部分是他自己说出来的，妈妈得帮他在逻辑方面加以润色。
谢谢你的宝贵意见，谢谢爸妈网。
hmily_pine 发表于 2014-6-6 15:00 static/image/common/back.gif
外研社的新概念英语风采大赛吗？
我儿子要参加复赛。我让他自己写了演讲稿。比楼主的简单。
我不太赞成妈 ...
我儿子也要参加，我反对。因为比赛还要交钱实在是出乎意料[后来了解了一下，什么比赛都得交钱，我是out 了。]。明年让他自己写，试一试。昨天还有家长托付我写这个东西。我儿子一看，说:"你这个稿子是要人家跳蹦床。”我说此话怎讲，儿子回答说，“硬是拔高我那同学的水平，而且一天之内让人记住这么多词，还有好多生词。觉得儿子说得有道理。等明年儿子口语溜一点，再让他参赛。主要是他依靠自己的水平。 参考各位的意见，改成以下， 复述应该没问题。参加完这场比赛，不管结果如何（很可能没结果，因为没有什么才艺可展示）都不再往下比了，目的已达到。 静下心来，老老实实多听多说多读，下次参加比赛应该在五年级了，下学期三年级，重心开始移到奥数。
hello,everyone.I am Marui. I am so happy to be here. Today I want to talk something about Nocturnal Animals. A nocturnal animal is an animal that is awake or active at night.
first, i am a bat. Can you hang upside down? Bet you can't. But I can.I rest in the daytime. I use sound waves to find food at night. My favorite is mosquitoes. Although I do look like a bird, actually I am a mammal because I have teeth and no feathers. I grew inside my mother before I was born. I drank milk from my mother when I was a little baby.
Now I am a lovely firefly. I like to live in warm damp places. I spend my days sleeping in bushes near the water. At night I fly around looking for food. Do you like my flickering light? That's the way I talk with my family and warn away the predators.
Now I am an owl. I have big eyes which help me see better in the dark.
There are some other nocturnal animals such as moth, toad and crocodile. I think they are very smart. What do you think? wenxibaobao 发表于 2014-6-6 22:58 static/image/common/back.gif
我儿子也要参加，我反对。因为比赛还要交钱实在是出乎意料[后来了解了一下，什么比赛都得交钱，我是out 了 ...
市决赛要考单词拼写，我直接跟孩子说，不管复赛成绩如何都别再参加了。（因为超出能力了）
There are some other nocturnal animals such as moth, toad and crocodile.
感觉such as 后面应该用复数形式。
There are some other nocturnal animals such as moths, toads and crocodiles.
hmily_pine 发表于 2014-6-6 23:36 static/image/common/back.gif
There are some other nocturnal animals such as moth, toad and crocodile.
感觉such as 后面应该用复数 ...
哦，是的，谢谢
hmily_pine 发表于 2014-6-6 23:28 static/image/common/back.gif
市决赛要考单词拼写，我直接跟孩子说，不管复赛成绩如何都别再参加了。（因为超出能力了）
我们的是给出几个单词编故事，随后一个即兴问答
My favorite is mosquitoes.
这个表达，我觉得不自在，好像没有这么用的。建议改为
My favorite food is mosquitoes. 本帖最后由 hmily_pine 于 2014-6-7 00:16 编辑
二年级小朋友的演讲稿，直接用 Night Time Animals代替那个Nocturnal Animals可能更好。不改关系不大。
关于Bat有一大段，关于owl只有一点点，有点儿头重脚轻。还不如在前面说一下有哪些夜晚活动的动物，然后重点说Bat。
以“我”最喜欢bat，有时希望自己就是一只bat, 如果我是bat,我可以怎样。。。。。
把蝙蝠的习性和小孩子的想像结合起来。
现在写的内容只是蝙蝠的习性，感觉平淡了点
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