闺女英语练笔建楼,欢迎指正
本帖最后由 tombaba 于 2014-3-16 09:17 编辑我家闺女开始练习写作了.请大家指正.
备考FCE中....
2014/3/10
The sky is azure, a few birds sing happily across the sky. The breeze brushes through my cheek. Trees sway gently in the breeze. Flowers burst into blooms. The sun illuminates every corner of the land. I sigh gracefully; it’s going to be a wonderful day. I can’t wait to open the door of my heart!
2014/3/16
We have finished the bulletin. Wow! Justimagine how beautiful it is! Everybody’s essay has been put on the bulletin andI have drawn a number of flower and animals. Beside the essays, there two sprayof dandelions, a breeze blow past, and appears so many tiny dandelions. It’s sogreat!
俺看不懂，也先给个赞
写的不错，加油！ 好棒啊，后生可畏！加油！ 加油哦越来越棒 真心棒，赞一个！ 向你家小朋友学习！ 写的不错呢，还用了不少大词。如果要仔细挑错的话，个人意见：
The sky is azure, a few birds sing happily across the sky.
sing across the sky. 似乎语义不通，sing in the sky。而且如果要表达穿越空间，似乎用through较好。另外2个the sky 重复，最好用从句或者代词来避免。
The breeze brushes through my cheek.
brush the check？刷脸啊？blow比较好吧。
Trees sway gently in the breeze. 又是两个breeze重复了
Flowers burst into blooms. burst into bloom是固定搭配，不用复数。
I sigh gracefully;这句的意思有些不通，优雅地叹息？是不是想说gratefully?但gratefully和sigh也不怎么能够搭配。
it’s going to be a wonderful day. 改成What a wonder day是不是好些。
I can’t wait to open the door of my heart!
什么叫打开心门？open my heart and embarce ....是不是比较好些
lintao915于2014-3-10 12:13补充以下内容：
另外，这个写的有点像诗歌，难度是不是大了些。如果写些比较朴实的文体，是不是更容易上手些。 不是英语专业，只能说感受：通读一遍，体会到很美，很通透的场景。
语法上的问题，估计和语感有关。避免单词的重复出现，的确需要注意，否则读起来会感到“咯噔”。 很好。特别最后一句。 又更新了,恳请指正. 向姐姐学习
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