凤的一篇课内作文

凤在课堂上一气呵成写了这篇Cake Disaster (直接打出来的)。老师看后只改了三个地方：两个单词应该大写首字母；一个单词不应该大写首字母。老师表扬凤“Your story is absolutely brilliant.”

Cake Disaster

Lying in the warm July sun, Smiley Teal gazed ahead, a bored expression plastered on her face. What should she do? She was tired of daydreaming. The sun was warm, and she was sleepy. The rays of golden sunshine covered her face like an invisible blanket. She closed her eyes gently, and with a smile on her face, she drifted into la-la land. Suddenly, a brilliant idea popped into her head. Groggily, she got up, shuffled into her kitchen, and grabbed sugar, chocolate powder, chocolate syrup, flour, and butter. She emptied the whole carton of Blue Band into the bowl, with three cups of sugar, plus all the flour. Then she squeezed a drop of chocolate syrup into the mixture and dumped a packet of chocolate powder into the combination. She was creating a disaster on the kitchen counter, but she didn’t care. She grabbed a spoon and started mixing the knobby mess in the bowl into an even knobbier mess. Then, she wandered away from the kitchen, carelessly locking the door behind her, and scampered into the yard, and shinnied up a tall apple tree. She found the best spot in the sturdy branches and fell into a slow, steady slumber.

Bobby Joe stealthily tip-toed into his young aunt’s house. He knew she was in the apple tree and was thankful she was asleep, for he was bored to extinction and wanted to play a trick on his foolish aunty. Bobby Joe sneaked to the kitchen door. It was locked. Oh drat, he thought. He fumbled around in his pocket, and feeling the cold, thin bars of a bobby pin, he immediately perked up and started poking the bobby pin into the keyhole. There was a faint click, and the door slowly swung open with a soft creak. Bobby Joe entered and saw the sorry excuse of a “cake” on the counter. Secretly mocking his aunt, he silently bounded to the cupboard, threw it open, and scanned the shelves with his large innocent eyes. A large bag of yeast and a bottle of baking soda caught his eye and taking them off the shelf, (he was sure to check the expiration date on the yeast bag), and he opened up the yeast bag, unscrewed the baking soda cap, and, pinching his nose, he dumped the bag of yeast into the bowl. The smelly “dough” started rising. A waterfall of knobby brown liquid started pouring out of the bowl. Excitedly, he dumped the bottle of bubbling soda in. 

Smiley Teal sleepily wandered into the kitchen, just as the mixture exploded. She screamed, and in her terror, Bobby Joe sneakily ran away, undercover, and dissolved into a heap in the yard. He was shaking with silent laughter. The house started crumbling. And in the midst of the splintering wood, furniture, and cement, a line of baking soda and yeast shot into the sky, flinging Smiley Teal in the air. Luckily, Smiley Teal fell into a shallow pond nearby, so she came out safe, but dripping. Meanwhile, Bobby Joe escaped to his house and lived happily-ever-after, in spite of the fact that he got grounded for a month. 

凤之前写了好几本Chapter Book，我总是看不进去。这篇我逐字逐句认真看了，每每询问她的用词，她一句“听到过的”总能令我那就没啥好说的了。凤说这篇是老师给每位同学不同的图，让同学们看图自拟题目写作文，图不能带回家，凤几笔给我画了出来。 

作文真不是老师在课堂上教出来的，听读量大再加上课堂上老师带着，有话可写不像是有问题的样子。当然同样差不太多的听读量，龙就写得平平了，那我也只好静等花开。