本帖最后由 lxq9918 于 2012-8-22 15:41 编辑
8月20日 （周一）
《典范英语5a》中 the power cut 的重写 。第一次尝试，似乎原文内容太多，所以丫头写出来的也没有重点，像是流水账。因为大概1个多月前看过这个故事，还跟读过，所以写前没引导，收了她的书。我觉得改写似乎不太合适她。
第十七篇
The Power Cut
One day, Biff and Chip were going on a holiday with Wilma's family. dad and mom were busy packing the car.
" Will you bring these for us, please?" said Wilma, holding some films,"we haven't watched some of them yet."
"We have to take the game station, I have a great new game. " said Wilf who was carrying the game station.
Biff was holding a CD player, and she said," And this CD player?"
But dad refuse to take these things, so they pleaded again and again. Finally, dad agreed.
It was a long journey, it took hours. At last they stopped in front of a cottage. They went inside the cottage, it was damp and cool, and there were cowbwebs (cobwebs) everywhere. But after Biff and Chip, Wilma, Wilf cleaned the room, it looked like a cosy home. In front of the room was a television.
"Oh, good, we can watch TV first." said Biff. so Biff and Chip watched TV and Wilma, Wilf listened to （我加上的） the CD player.
Suddenly, the room went dark, the TV and the CD player went off.
"There's been a power cut." said dad, coming in with a torch.
The next morning, there was still no power. Buf Biff has an idea. She told her friends about the ideas and set off to work. They took lots of things into the woods. They worked all day. Wilf tied a sheet between two trees ,Biff and Chip cut out shapes from a box.
In the （我加的） evening, Biff turned up some lamps, and the sheet glowed. The play began. It was about goblins. Biff played the guitar, Wilf, Wilma moved the paper goblins, Chip hid behind a tree and made the goblins (goblins') voice. Mom cried and dad laughed. At midnight, the play was over, Biff, Chip, Wilma and Wilf bowed.
"Well done." shouted dad.
"Excellent!"yelled mom.
"Now it's time to gaveyou a surprise. " said dad.
"what is it ?" asked Biff.
"It's a secret!"replied dad,"you will see."
When they got home, it was pitch dark.
"I can't see anything." said biff.
"I said 'you can see', and you can!" he said with a chuckle. Then he turnon the power. " I want you to enjoy the holiday, not to （我加的）watch TV, so I turn off the power.
"Turn off it (turn it off)again" said Chip,"we can do lots of things without it !"
8月20日 （周一）
MSB------on the ocean floor 学完后写的，虽然写时没看书，但也许是听这个音频多了，不少句子感觉就和书上的差不多。本不打算贴上来，但是丫头说她要凑数的，也就也贴上来吧。等这半年下来，看看我们写了多少篇。
第十八篇
when is a fish not a fish?
It's a jellyfish! A true fish have a bachbone (这里明显笔误，因为后面又写对了), gills and fins.Some animals are called fish but they are not. Actually, they are invertebrates, animals without backbones. Here are some of them: Jellyfish, Starfish, shellfish and lots of others.
8月20日 （周一）
第十九篇
How Can Fish Breath?
People have lungs that take oxygen from air, fish have gills to take oxgen from water. This is how they breath: Water flow into fish's mouth, then into the gills and out through the slits in the fish's sides!
这么小的孩子，写这么长的作文了！英语学的真不错
好多词我看着都觉得陌生呢~
能写出这样的文章真不简单
8月26日 （周日）
梦幻双语绘本 the dark dark night 的rewriting. 写前还看了遍，写时收了书。写作前，提醒她多对黑暗中的景色或者黑暗中的声音进行描写，以衬托出恐怖气氛。写完错误挺多的，主要是时态问题，前后不一致，部分单词也是一错再错。有些地方基于原文的基础上，已经引导丫头改过了，比如多个短句合并成一个长句子。比如倒装句。所以不少地方未用红色标示出。关于部分景色和声音的描写，我自己都不清楚她用词是否准确{:soso_e110:}，目前只能这样了。
第二十篇
The Dark Dark Night
Frog was very exited (excited), he have been sleeping for a whole winter under a rock. Now he was on his way back to the pond.
On the way home, he bumped into Badger and Hedgehog. Then Frog played with Rabbit and Dormouse for a little while.
Frog noticed it was geting darker and darker, so he borrowed a lantern from Dormouse and off he went throught the wood to the pond.
The trees creaked, their branches groaned and leaves trembled. It was pitch black except the light of the lantern.
When Frog reached home, he put down the lantern behind him, and when he was just（引导后加上的） about to jump, he saw a huge pond monster with huge claws, coming out of the reeds.
"Help!Pond monster is coming." yelled Frog as he ran away with the lantern.
"There's no such thing as pond monsters," said Hedgehog when Frog told him about his story. " I'll go and take a look at the monster."
So off they went through the woods .
Woo---Woo! howled louder the wind in the trees.
Squeak---squeak! went the lanterns, swinging from side to side.
"Wait for me!" Dormouse cried.
When they reach the pond, they saw the pond monster again! This time it was bigger than befor, it had lots of sharp spikes down his back.
"Run for your lives!" yelled Hedgehog.
They ran through the woods, and back to the meadow.
"Nonsense!"said Rabbit, "I'll come with you."
So again, off they went through the woods.
Woo--woo! howled the wind, stonger than befor.
Squeak--squeak! went the lanterns, swinging from side to side.
When they reached the pond, a huge gust of wind blew out all of their lanterns.
" Where's the monster?" asked Rabbit with a frown."I didn't see him."
"That's because it's so dark, we can't see him. Let us sit down right here and wait for the moon to came out." said Frog.
Just then,they saw a light from a bank, it was Dormouse, holding a lantern. He waved at them, how strange, they saw a black thing in the reeds, waving too.
"That's not a monster,"said Hedgehog.
" It's Dormouse's shadow!" said Frog.
"Don't tell me you were afraid of your own shadow all the time." said Rabbit, laughing.
"Well, if there's no monster..."said Frog, happily.
SPLASH!
Befor Frog's friends could see him, he had jumped into the pond!
本帖最后由 lxq9918 于 2012-8-26 17:51 编辑
8月25日 （周日）
故事题材源自《天天都有好故事》，未引导。
第二十一篇
The Travel Service (part one)
One day, Gorilla made a travel service in the forest. A long, clean and deep red carpet covered the ground. Flowers were lying on the carpet, and hundreds of rockets exploded in the sky. Lively music filled the air. It was the first day of the travel service.
Gorilla waited for some guests. He waited from morning to midday, but he didn't see anyone, exept trees and trees and more trees.
But Gorilla didn't give up, he still stood outside the travel service door, waiting for guest.
Finally, Gorilla saw a small thing ploding straight toward his travel service! Gorilla was overjoyed, he waited, happily and patiently (这个词我引导她加上的，发现她拼不出来这个词）。
But when he saw the animal, he was a little disapointed. Because the animal was a old turtle!
"My wish is to take a good look at the whole forest, can you help me, Mr. Gorilla?" asked Turtle, his eyes shining with hope.
Gorilla thought: "How can I do that? Turtle crawled so slow, and he was old. " But he had to agreed because he was a travel service worker now. Then he had an idea, so he said yes.
.....to be continued...
不错，写得很好啊
本帖最后由 lxq9918 于 2012-8-31 15:23 编辑
8月31日 （周五）
以下为 第21 篇 的第二部分。未引导。
第二十二篇
The Travel Service (part two)
Gorilla put Turtle in a small soft bag with turtle's head out, then he tied the bag on his back with some ropes.
"Ready, let's go!" said Turtle with a smile, so off they went.
Gorilla had two big, strong arms, he swing from branch to branch, jump from tree to tree. Turtle looked carefully, the woods were so big and beautiful that Turtle wished he had two more eyes. Gorilla was a good worker, he told Turtle a story when they met a plant or a river, just like those:
"Every summer, owls gather around to sing for a contest in this big oak tree..."
"And deers love to drink at this river..."said Gorilla when they came to a river.
Then Gorilla's voice went away. (偶是没太明白她的这句话表达什么意思）
The next day, the animals in the woods all knew about the news: Gorilla and Turtle's trip. So all the animals went to gorilla's travel service. And Gorilla's business went better and better.
...... the end ......
本帖最后由 lxq9918 于 2012-8-31 22:22 编辑
8月31日 （周五）
故事题材选自《天天都有好故事》。丫头不愿意 rewrite 绘本，她说好多句子写出来后和书上一样，感觉像抄书。但是我告诉她只要写时不看书，就算是凭记忆写出来的，就是自己的。何况 rewriting, 好多东西也是需要自己归纳总结的呢？
下面的故事未引导。虽然错误不多，但是因为原文内容过于简单，丫头也未多发挥想象力，草草了事。另外，当妈妈的水平有限，只把自己看得出来的语法错误标示出来, 部分长句子偶也不知道她用的正确与否。
第二十三篇
The Frogs That Wanted To Be The Prince
Once long ago, there were more than ten frogs lived happily in a pond.
One day, a dady was taking his daughter at the pond for a walk. He was telling a story about a frog prince to his daughter. The frogs in the pond were listening, too! They like the story very much.
"We have to have a frog prince, too. " croacked (croaked) a frog.
So they began to chose a frog to be the prince.
"Look at me, I have beautiful green cloth , I can be the prince!" said one frog.
"Princes are brave, but you are a coward!" said another.
Then a frog with warts along（这个我不知道是否有这样的表达，记得有down 可以用，不管怎样，先醒目出来，方便以后注意吧） his back said, " I'm brave, I can be the prince." But the others said he's too ugly.
So these frogs argued again and again.
That's why these frogs are still croacking for years until today.
本帖最后由 mlguo 于 2012-8-31 16:38 编辑
又一个牛娃呀
现在让我写一段这么长时间英文
估计还得想半天
受楼主启发，打算以后开始引导姑娘写中文故事
8月31日 （周五）
总结：
暑假将近2个月，共完成长长短短的英语小短文23篇。写作数量比未贴在网上之前大有增加，段落划分和大小写也明显进步。
因为工作变动，可能没时间再上爸妈网，写的小短文也暂时不再上贴，但是这下半年我们还是会一直坚持锻炼。如果以后有时间会一直贴下去，而红色的错误部分，会让丫头自己再重新审视修改。
实在是佩服！
好厉害啊！佩服
太强了，小女孩好棒啊，当然妈妈也是很用心啊！
我实在实在是无比佩服这位妈妈！几个月时间就让孩子达到这样的高度！
我家从孩子出生开始就跟她讲英语，四岁以后虽然我讲的少了，但阅读一直没断，从不到一岁开始到现在六岁半，读了无数英语绘本，听了无数英语故事。听力虽然一直很好，但一直到六岁之前几乎都不会讲英语，到六岁才开始会讲一点，但从没编过这样完整的故事。拼读和写字因为从未做过所以一点也不会。
而我本人的英语水平，根据认识的一位雅思口试考官说，能达到雅思八级。你们几个月就达到了我们六年半都不能达到的水平。
很佩服！我觉得太厉害了！
只有一个字了，牛!!!!
小朋友很棒
Good Job! keep going
简直是神童啊，六个月怎么会写出如此流利的短文，详细介绍成长经历，谢谢
我女儿感觉记几个单词都好难，更不用说写作了
真的好厉害好厉害
It's amazing.
感谢楼主的 分享
有的词我都不认识。。。。。哭死了
这是个好办法！:handshake
lxq9918 发表于 2012-7-26 13:06
7月26日
故事题材选自《天天都有好故事》里的《大象和蚊子》：
惊艳！
The elephant said angrily:" I'll never ever help another mosquitos!" And he did.
错误不要紧
最后一句顺便说一下
any other mosquitos
and he did not.
lxq9918 发表于 2012-7-27 15:53
7月27日
故事题材选自《天天都有好故事》-----《月亮和星星》
经过引导，描述当时的情景，然后写出来的。 ...
没有星星和月亮.......问得好啊
神童！神童！神童！