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Write Source G4 - 3/14/2019

已有 12 次阅读2019-3-16 07:44 |系统分类:成长记录

Today my daughter got home earlier than usual since we have parents teachers conference. Her writing homework was to write a woman who inspired her. She didn't have any ideas about who she should write at the beginning. After we discussed it, she decided to write about Malala Yousafzai, a girl who won the Nobel Prize Award. 
I asked her to use 5 step writing processes and 6 writing traits what she learned from previous two writing classes. She wrote the details on a draft paper, then finished her final draft. After I wrote about it, we evaluated the essay. Below are the comments that I provided:
- beginning and ending didn't sound interesting
- should use more transitions.
- should use more strong words.
- too many short sentences.
She agreed above comments and started to rewrite the essay. She made the following changes.
- used questions on beginning and ending, sounds more interesting
- used strong words
- used transitions between paragraphs
- followed the time line
- combined some short sentences to a long sentence with my help.
After she rewrote the paper, we both were very satisfied with it. To be honest, this is the best paper she ever wrote. However, after I posted it online, my husband told me that there's a spelling mistake on the paper.  I guess we didn't check carefully. To bad, I don't know how to upload the paper to here.


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